Why You Need To Start Talking About Your Eating Disorder ASAP

Hey beautiful friend!  Thank you so much for hanging out with me today.  I look forward to sharing this episode with you.  It might come across a little challenging for you cause I'm going to ask you to do something that might be a little difficult.  It might be something you've been avoiding for quite some time and it might make your breath catch in your chest a little bit.  What I'm gonna ask you to do and to explore and to consider with me today is the process of beginning to have a conversation about your eating disorder.  

To begin talking to someone about it, because personally I took one of the most crucial steps in healing my relationship with food and my body and it all happened when I started voicing my anxieties.  For years I would just bottle up my emotions and my tolerance for stuffing what I was feeling until it reached a point where it no longer worked.  I was literally full.  It all came spilling out.  

I hope for you, I don't know how far in with your toxic relationship with food or your body, I don't know how far in you are with it but one of the number one things I would advise, if I can save anyone time in their healing journey it's begin the process of talking about it as soon as possible.  

What this looked like for me was I began to share my anxieties with my husband because he was the person I trusted the most.  And actually he knew me better than I knew myself.  And when I went to him and started talking, it was more about my anxieties around food.  I didn't ever label my eating disorder as an eating disorder.  I didn't say, “hey I have this eating disorder and it’s really getting on my nerves”.  That's not how it comes out. Actually it wasn't till maybe even within the last couple of years I called it an eating disorder.  That is saying a lot.  How long I just almost wanted to hide it, I didn't want to label it.  I didn't want to feel that.

When I went to my husband, Adam, and I would start talking about my anxieties around food and what I ate that day, it started the process of healing.  Adam would be patient, he would listen to me, he was very comforting and supportive.  I felt safe with him.  And it just opened the door. 

Here's what happens, when you release the pressure to navigate this whole thing on your own.  To navigate negative body image, to navigate food fear on your own and when you open up to receiving help, you are fighting for yourself.  You have started the fight for yourself and you're telling your eating disorder “I'm coming for you and you're going down”.  

In a way you are separating yourself from your eating disorder.  You're removing yourself, like you're no longer clumped together as a single identity.  You can start seeing the negative thing that this eating disorder is and what it's doing to you and you can start separating yourself from it.  Once you get that little space, it can get bigger and bigger and bigger.  That's the goal right?  We want it in another country.  We want to be so far away from it but you have to start somewhere.  I really believe it's speaking about it, actually voicing the anxieties, voicing the frustrations.  I feel that was my true first step.  Saying, “I am fighting for myself. I am not OK with this.  I want better.  I don't like the way this makes me feel.  I’m tired of feeling this way. I wanna move on”.

When you hear yourself say the words, it becomes more real.  So when we say what we're feeling and we voice our anxieties and then we have in return that positive environment, that support and that comfort, like “yes you can do this.  Yes you're gonna be OK”, it was a positive experience.  It felt good. It felt good to release the anxiety and to be told that I was gonna be OK.

I really hope that you can find that for yourself.  Finding those people, whether it is a therapist, whether it is a close family member, a close friend, someone supportive, heck you can email me anytime or send me a DM on Instagram.  Email me, it's hello@andreacarow.com.  On Instagram I’m andrea_carow

I can be that if you need someone supportive.  If you don't have anyone, reach out.  I’m here to help. I want to help. I want to listen. I want to do what I can to help other people that are going through what I went through.  I know it can feel so lonely but it doesn't have to be that way.

I’m asking you to have a competitive spirit.  I want you to find that scrappy inner badass within you.  I want you to get competitive because once you can separate that little distance from your eating disorder and you can kind of start viewing it as an opponent then I believe that is where you can really start attacking it.  Like I said before, about saying to your eating disorder “I'm coming for you and you're going down”.  That's the competitive spirit I’m talking about. 

I’m a naturally competitive person and once I started feeling that little separation between myself and my eating disorder, that identity, something clicked in my mind where it was almost kinda like yeah I had this opponent that I could beat. Like we were going at it head to head and it was something for me to overcome.

 Be aware though, it's not a foolproof thing.  I can still have days where I catch myself slipping into my old ways of thinking. But now with that separation that I have I can recognize them as red flags and I have the tools to work through those negative thoughts in the moment while it's happening and in this way it helps keep me from spiraling.  So that's another big positive aspect of having that separation of yourself from your eating disorder because you are not your eating disorder. You are a person. You are a soul.

The eating disorder and the body negativity wants to cling on and it wants to make you believe that is who you are but that is not true.  As I said in the last episode, whenever there's a lie, you have to combat it with a truth.  And the truth is, I truly believe that speaking, starting to voice, actually voicing, using your voice to voice your anxieties, that is where healing will start.  That is where my healing really started for me.  I am challenging you.  I know it might be hard but I believe in you.  Believe in yourself.  You can do hard things.  You were made to do hard things and you might feel alone but you're not alone.

Say a little prayer to God.  Say “God, give me the courage, give me the bravery to speak up about this. Help me start the conversation. Show me the person, lead me to the person that I can share this with.  Show me who that might be in my life because I know with your help I can start the healing journey, I can start this process, I can start the conversation”. 

I can tell you, it’s about time there are some new voices, fresh voices in on the conversation other than just yourself and the crazy things running around in your mind that aren't always positive.  It's time to insert that positivity, that voice.  And if you don't have anyone to speak to about it, talk to God.  Say it out loud to God, He's listening, He will hear you.  Call out to Him.  He will hear you and He will be there.  He's listening.  There's no greater support than our Lord.  Isn't that right?  He's listening all the time.  

All you have to have is that little bit of bravery, that little bit of courage.  Just a little inkling of courage because once you do it once it'll become easier time after time after time.  You'll just kinda get into the habit of talking about it.  I know you can do this friend! 

Let me know how this goes. Send me an email, send me a DM on Instagram. Did you find someone to talk to?  Did you pray out to God?  What happened?  Let me know how it went.  I want to hear how this went for you.  Because every situation is so unique and so different. I want to hear some good things. I want to hear some positivity. I want to hear your wins.  So let me know if you did this and let me know how it went.  Let me know how you felt.

Alright friend, thank you so much for hanging out with me today.  I will talk with you soon, bye.